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EFFECTIVE FATHERING

Being a Seminar Paper presented at Men’s Fellowship, St Mother’s Anglican Church, G. R. A, Bida

By

MR. TIMOTHY A. YISA

Fatherly care or effective fathering means according to my thinking, correct leadership in the home irrespective of gender, or family counseling, or child’s upbringing and training or raising victorious children e.t.c

          Method and philosophies regarding control or training of children has been the subject of heated debate and disagreement for centuries. The pendulum has swept back and forth regularly between harsh, oppressive discipline and unstructured permissiveness of the 1950s. It is time we realize that both extremes leave their characteristic scarce on the lives of young victims, and I would be hard pressed to say which is more damaging.

          Unfortunately, the prevailing philosophy at a particular time seems to be more influential on parental approaches to discipline than does common sense.

          It is an inherent factor in the society or family setting that tradition and culture influence child’s g universally. Therefore, there are similarities and contrast of child’s upbringing and training. The plain truth is that, the aren’t – child relationship is the first and most important social interaction an infant will have, and the flows and knots in that interaction an often be seen in late relationships

          Children in this present age are facing dangerous challenges that probably no other child ever faced down the ages. The 21st Century world is the most crooked, polluted, perverted and pernicious in history. Injustice is the norm or rule of the day, such that most people do not know any more what it means to act right. The earth is reeked of moral pollutions and perversions. And no nation or tongue is spared. “Wherever you turn, sins loom large into view and iniquity is seen dressed up in the garb of modernization and technological innovations! Sin has enlarged its scope and influence. Violence and sexual perversions are bought on the net and in porn magazines, re-sold on the streets and staged in home! Having sown the seed of violence, hate and moral rot, the world now reaps murder, juvenile delinquency, college cultism, teenage whoredom (prostitution) and killer diseases. Surely, the world is heading for an awful destruction”.

Now, the inevitable reality is that, it is in this same world of filth and Satanism that your little ones go to school, play, make and keep friends, develop a sense of value and seek models and mentors! Don’t we think these kids – boys and girls – need spiritual compass to successfully navigate their lives in this drifting world?

Listen and Read This True Story:-

“I was a witch; I became a witch at the age of two and half years. I was initiated into witchcraft by my grandmother. My own mother was also a witch. My grandmother died in 1980 and my mother died in 1993. Let none of my leaders presume that the power of witches and wizards are without bounds or limited. This is far for the truth. In the several years I operated as a witch, I personally witnessed terrible disasters befell individual witches and witchcraft shrines and covens. It was after my deliverance that I, like all other liberated witches, realized that power pass power. You know what I means !!

          I can authoritatively confirm that the following expression used by believers when they pray work: “Holy Ghost Fire!! “Blood of Jesus !!”“In Jesus Name!!”Oh Gooooood!!!”

          I had severally seen terrible things happened whenever those expressions were used by true believers in faith. What it takes to get the power of God to work is simple faith in the Word of God and the Name of Jesus Christ, fervent and continuous prayers and determination to forsake the works of sin. Such believer need not be angles or super spiritual people. Just their faith is enough the Grace, mercies and compassion of the Lord and they will be delivered. I am a living testimony to this reality”.

          Second Story (Court Case)

          “Have you anything to say before I sentence you? A judge asked a youth nineteen years old, who had committed murder and who was soon to hear the death sentence pronounced on him”.

          Yes, your honour, I have something to say. Am I alone responsible for the crime I committed? My father put the first bottle of liquor in my hand. My parents taught me that there is nothing in religion. I never saw a Bible in my home. I never heard my parents pray together before ewe retired for the day, no not even for one night in all my life. To worsen it, they were ever busy catering for themselves. Yes, they fed me – my physical flesh - whenever they were around; but my spirit – they stabbed and starved till it was devoid of spiritual grace and truth. If ever at all they were available, our home was a vertitable fighting ring. We had lots of liquor at the bar. The aroma in the kitchenette never ceased, but we were dying, hungry and rotten within. Once again I had guilt written all over my face but my father was never ceased, but we were drying, hungry and rotten within. Once again, I had guilt written all over my face but my father was never available to unburden or bind my bleeding, broken heart.

          Experience of family reunion and devotion was a mirage! Not in my home, no, never. My home was cursed, a home, where children are never celebrated nor appreciated! Who cared if any child lived a spiritual life? No one. What then have my parents and I gained now? I was not trained to be godly, neither did I cared for the moral demands of a Holy God. And Now, I must die, ripped apart by the angry bullets of human justice. My parents are responsible as well as I m. I bow before your cruel judgment. Let the law take its full course. May God have mercy on my parents’ soul and mine”.

          Different kinds of Parents Produce Difference Kinds of Children

What a pity! What a pathetic report! Tragic, yes, but true. The question is often asked and parents keep wondering why the youths of today are so hopelessly wayward.

          The children should be helped to live victoriously over sins, temptations, worldliness, peer pressure, compromise and youthful lusts that satan unleashes. Our children need not be a victim.

          Effective fatherly care of raising victorious children at home is by the scriptures. Teach your children the Bible – based principles of holy, responsible and productive living. We should teach the children the word of God just as Moses have instructions in the law of the Old Testament.

          (Deuteronomy 6: 6 – 7) “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up”

          God gave us (parents) divine instructions concerning raising victorious children. God requires parents to first take his law into their own hearts, and then discuss it constantly with their sons and daughters. We are to talk about things of the Lord with our children throughout their dependent years until they have children of their own. Then, they too will teach their own children. The cycle of oddly instruction continues. God’s word emphasizes child training as a joint duty and the rewards of successful child training as a joint duty benefit of father and mother (Proverbs 1:8) “My sons, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother”. Proverb 10:1 – “A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother”. Proverbs 23:22 – Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise our mother when she is old” (NIV) Ephesians 6:2 – “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with a promise).

          Every parent should have a dream for his or her children Isaiah 54:13 Isaiah put it this way: And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children”. As we labour to raise our children, I must be according to do’ pattern and by the guidance of His Spirit. It is then, parents and children will experience God’s full blessing as stated in Psalm 128: 1- 6.

          Secondly, every parent should supplicate or ask or pray for help form the Almighty God, for our children, so that none of them all prey of any demonic activities.

          Prayer is the effectual weapon that can keep our children from falling into the tempting snares of the devil. We should pray that the seed of God’s word will sprout in their hearts and bear fruit of righteous living in their lives.

          Thirdly, nothing makes child training weapon that can keep our children from falling into the tempting snares of the devil. We should pray that the seed of God’s word will sprout in their hearts and bear fruit of righteous living in their lives.

          Thirdly, nothing makes child training successfully as the parent’s sincerity.

          Nothing destroys it as the parent’s hypocrisy, value; virtues make children, homes, communities and nations. Every value you fail to teach your child could create virtues and precepts you teach the mat work I your own life. If your teach him to shun sin and satan, while he watches you break God’s commandment and consult satan through sorcery or horoscope, the child would shrug – off your training and follow the way of the world Titus 2:7 – 8 “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned , so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us”.

          Therefore, partnership through prayer is very important and necessary. Partnership with God in parenting or fatherly care is of great importance and can mainly be achieved in the pale of prayers. Hence, it is not uncommon to find some Christian parents grapping with pains of dealing with their rebellious children.

          Parent should particularly be concerned and vigilant to know their children’s tendency to a particular kind of behavior, either good or evil. Once you notice any strange attitude or behaviour like withdrawal from family members, frequent absenteeism and poor performance in school, lying, rebellion and violence in your child, you must earnestly pray that the Lord should intervene. You should also ask for wisdom to handle the situation Isaiah 49:25B.

For all – round effectiveness, prayer should be backed with training, counseling and appropriate discipline. James 2:26 “for as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also”. Many parents are good on their knees but poor on the field of parenting. That is why such parents hardly succeed in child –training. God takes care of the spiritual aspect of the child – training, such as watching over the child’s heart, fending off the evil spirit of obstinacy and rebellion and building around him a divine wall of immunity against the sin germ.

          But parents have the utmost task of leading the child to the experience of salvation, making him realize his sinful state and indispensable need of the savior. Not only that, they also need to teach the child the Bible principles of godly living, as well as nourishing and raising him up with appropriate all round education and discipline needed for responsible adulthood.

          Proverbs 29:15 “The rod to correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgrace his mother” (NIV)

          If parents fail to do their part in a child’s upbringing, God is not to blame if t he child chooses to follow the devil. Therefore, successful child – training is the joint business of God and parents. As you train the child, remember to: Train in the way of God. Education without God has no eternal value. Every child must be taught about God who is creator of all things. They must also be taught that He has laid down laws by which we must live on earth, and that He rewards the obedient but punishes the disobedient. Parents should provide scriptural examples on how God rewards and punishes these classes of people.

          Parents should take note that, “Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried”. As parents, perhaps you have failed in this all – important parenting or fatherly care responsibility entrusted on you by God. Do not give up hope nor waste your time on broading over your failure. Go to the Lord in prayer, asking for forgiveness and the grace and wisdom to bring your children back to the right path. Give all it takes to remold your children’s lives, depending on the Lord to help you through and he will help you in Jesus Name, Amen!

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